Thursday, January 8, 2009

Monkey Poo Fight and a USAT Coach Certification

Ever go to a zoo and see a monkey poo fight? I will simplify it for you. These animals crap into their front hands/paws and throw it at each other when they are mad. In the end, all parties are covered in crap, they smell bad and nobody really wins.

For going on nine years, I've been in a monkey poo fight in order to get certified as a coach in USAT. Somehow, I am always missing a signature (like our IL senator to be - ethical or not...legally this is right - stinky and right legally) or someone overlooked something sorry.

I like a lot of folks in USAT and for the most part the love the sport. It is the politics and money at the core of everything that I just can't stand. ITU hates USAT who hates WTC/Ironman. Get over it and work together. In case you hadn't noticed, they aren't exactly showing triathlons on network TV except for the "freak show" that is Ironman Hawaii. (It is referred to as a freak show by many network executives. Given the obesity in our culture, it is no wonder why.)

Trying to finally break through into USAT "certification" as a coach - more for marketing than legitimacy for me, I was denied again. Not wanting to be in this monkey poo fight again; (I don't like poo.) I've decided that I won't seek certification again. Ever. I will go "old school" and get certifications from USA Swimming, USA Cycling and USA Track and Field. Stuff that in your pipe, smoke it (and inhale) USAT. You are alienating people left and right. For what? "Power"? ***NOTE: I am a US Masters Certified swim coach and Certified Master Cycling coach. Big whoop. That and $4.35 get me a cup of joe at Starbucks.

If nobody cares about your certification, is it a certification?


  1. Bob -

    Well said. I also struggle with this in coaching youth sports. The kids don't care. We win championships, lose games, and learn. I haven't had a parent or another coach (usually when our team is kicking the crap out them) ask me about my certification. They know from actions and results.

    Only the bureaucrats in the league require it. So we play elsewhere.

  2. Amen, Bob, amen. I say us types stick together and help buck the establishment. I shall be linking to this if you don't mind.

  3. Why were you denied? I thought about getting certified, but why bother if this is the truth..