We did let the "stupid" into the house. We literally were either on the couch or in bed all day with the TV on. I think I lost some IQ points because I feel dumber. We watched 36 holes of golf. (You know your sick if that is the case. Tiger or no Tiger.) We watched the Dirty Jobs marathon and went right into the final stage of the Tour of California. This bled into self important Hollywood types at the Oscars. Lorrie judging every dress or tux on the red carpet.
This brought me to thinking about awards. The Endurance Sports Awards in February in San Diego are the "Oscars" of endurance sport. Unfortunately, the group who is there are mostly So Cal. What about the east coast? How about folks from Colorado and Texas? The midwest isn't bad either. Maybe we should just buy a table and go out there every year? Make it a four day weekend and train in early February and the get dressed up and go to the ESAs. Who's with me?
Then I got to thinking about work. What if work had an awards night? Well...first of all, nobody would show up. Morale is so low and slow that snails seem like giants. So assuming we did get people to go...what would we award?
Best actor/actress - too easy, acting like you care or like the people you work with
Best project special effects - when leadership and project managers hide what is really happening to senior management
Best Bull Sh*t - where the glut of middle management gets behind stupid, wasteful ideas in order to kiss ass and attempt to forward their career by stroking the egos of those in power today.
Lifetime Achievement Awards - for any employee over 30 years in senior management. If you are 51 and have been at one company for 30 years...you haven't seen enough of the business world. Here's your award. Now clean out your office and get out. Enjoy your millions of executive compensation - now give someone else a chance.
Best Shallow Promise - this is best saved for senior management when speaking to Wall Street or MSNBC...or clients. These ideas sound good and look good on paper but you have to make change and demand change from your employees. I love it when a CEO (no names mentioned to protect the guilty) fails to send senior staff or other employees packing when they continually fail to do their basic jobs functions or...are missing the right skills to execute what the company needs. It also seems that "strategy" ideas aren't ever really looked at by Wall Street. Imagine if we had pundits who hammered dumb ideas or writers/talk show hosts who call people out. Letterman weasels his way around some of this. Leno wouldn't touch it.
So here we go, suck it up and smile Monday...but I have been overly patient for three years. Two years and six months longer than I should have stayed. This is why consulting is the way to fly. Speak the truth. Get paid. Get out.
Cast away the crap that "society" throws on you. Focus on your goals and take action on them.