Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Square One

My self imposed 21 day exodus from all things fitness is over. Then I had to travel for work...OK, no problem. Then I got sick - somewhere between Seattle, New York and Miami. No amount of glutamine, grape seed extract, wheat grass shots, vitamin C and Airborne helped and I basically have had another 25 days of what can (at best) be called "inconsistent" training. So if my math is right...21 + 25 = 46...oh crap! I have got to get going. I think I need a map to the pool. A formal introduction to my bike. ...and the deer on the trails I run? They won't even recognize me! I'm starting over.
My mother has always tried to get "natural" this or that for us kids my whole life rather than running off to get antibiotics. So I tried for mom...I even pulled out at least three different ethnic "miracle cures" - nada, nothing...zilch.

The Big Three: These are the three cures (in no particular order) which always seem to kick a cold in the family jewels. Please consult a physician or witch doctor before trying these on your own or at least have a spotter and a designated driver.

Exhibit A) Latin America/South American - My good friend Fernando - Colombian/Brazilian - hot, red pepper - cook it up, eat the peppers, drink the liquid. What does it feel like? Try eating a flame thrower while it is on; that is pretty close. I had to change my clothes I was sweating so much. I held it all down...but whatever bug I have had no problem with it either. (Tough bug!)

Exhibit B) Czech/Polish - this comes courtesy of my dad. We went to the Polish deli and had a full tablespoon of FRESH horseradish and two shots of whiskey. (Oh good Lord! Someone shoot me.) I think I have permanent sinus damage from the horseradish. That or it burned a hole in my sinus. To come close to how this feels the next time you are eating Chinese food...line up three or four hot Chinese mustard "shooters" and do them in succession. That's about right.

Exhibit C) Italian - Garlic Tea/Soup - yep...no less than four large cloves of garlic pressed and boiled in water or (my preference) chicken broth (College Inn - don't use the "low fat" stuff it is nasty...get the "full fat" version or don't get broth at all.) Hot as you can stand it; drink the tea/soup and EAT the garlic. This is best done with Canada Dry Ginger Ale (almost frozen its so cold) by your side. I actually can eat this no problem. It is a bit salty tasting but if you've ever had chicken broth in an Ironman...its like that...only with an insane amount of garlic. The up side? No vampires near your house for at least a week. Not even "The Count".
Nada. Nothing. Still sick. Breakdown and call the doctor. My doctor is a runner. I actually caught her team during the 190-mile race from Madison to Milwaukee to Chicago (along with my team) last summer. Sit down...vitals: BP - high 136/90 (was going to work and fired up some Kona coffee), resting pulse 68 (!); 20 bpm over normal, here is the 1st prize...weight...(with clothes, shoes...wallet) 202. W-H-A-T? "Didn't you just get off a cruise?" Dr. Kelly Jo Well, yes...but I didn't eat any of the cruise staff or passengers! (192 this morning- I've been lifting a fair amount and not doing ANY cardio - running, swimming, cycling...I put on bulk muscle quickly and can pull it off quickly too; give me two weeks and I'll be back in the high 170s.) Kelly, " I'm giving you a z-pack. (antibiotics) You gave it a good college try Bob. 25 days of suffering thru this and you have gone up and down...time for a stronger cure. Most people have come in after 4 or 5 days." I didn't fight it. I'm sick of being sick. I want to get lapped by Matt in the pool while I hold 1:05/100 yards on 400s (Matt is the 30-34 US Masters record holder in the 400 and 800 free), get slapped around on the bike on the single track rides with John who hasn't really been on a bike since Clearwater 2006 but will somehow make me suffer and gag for air like a fish out of water; while running in Barrington Hills as Angie literally runs circles around me asking, "Is this pace too fast Bob?" in her cheerleader-like voice; her 105 lb. frame jumping all around..."Almost done Bob! You're doin' great!" Just stay out of arms reach Angie... grrr.
I'm back at Square One. I wrote 202 lbs on a sheet of paper and put it on the refrigerator and the pantry. (I'll start with negative reinforcement.)

Tonight, I will put the racing bike on the trainer, vacuum out the basement in my "training dungeon" and spend a few hours stretching and doing some very light but long work effort tonight. I am back at square one of this life sized version of Chutes and Ladders ...looking for the ladder (known as H-A-R-D W-O-R-K) which will bring me back to Kona. In my family...hard work is the only thing we know. It paid for my college tuition (in the pool - certainly not in the classroom).

Chuckie V has a great quote on his blog, "Hard work never killed anyone, but why take the chance?" It makes me laugh at how we all avoid work at times no matter who you are.

Why? (for me) In order to get back to Kona via hard work - not lottery - and finish strong...or at least finish. QUALIFY on hard work. I have the talent - it paid for college, but just as in the movie Miracle, "You don't have enough talent to win (qualify) on talent alone." ...don't bet against me. I'm coming all the way back.

Don't call it a comeback...I've been here for years....

1 comment:

  1. OK, BOB!!!! Pull yourself up from your boot straps and get on a schedule. Now is the TIME! :) Have fun and good luck! Jenny