Wednesday, July 11, 2007

THOR!'s gonna be a long night!

I'm in my fifth meeting today and it is 11:30 AM. I'm hacked off because I haven't had my Tour de France 'cigarette break'. I'm jacked up on Kiluea Coffee and corporate America (a seriously explosive combination) and then the phone rings. It is my wife and I expect the usual daily update. As I bring the phone to my ear I hear, "THOR WON THE STAGE! WOO-HOO!!" I move the phone to my right ear as I am now convinced I've permenantly lost some hearing in the left. Like an excited little girl my wife starts to explain the stage and what happened in detail ("He shifted into his 11 at just the right time") as she has spread our Tour de France fever to her office. She stops in order to "not spoil the ending" (?) for me and then lays out the evening plan for me. "You have to get home early and mow the lawn, finish training and stretch so we can watch the tour in peace and quiet." Hold on there professor. I have to get all this done so we can watch the tour in peace? As I write this I still have a good two hours of training, two hours of mowing and somewhere I'd like to eat something other than a Clif Bar and Motortabs; I love those products but not as a meal if I am walking distance from my kitchen. If I had a teleporter I could just about finish at ~10pm. (The lawn may have to wait another day. I'm think I'm going to talk to the dairy farm down the road and see if the cows can eat over while I'm at work. I'll take their mowing job and all the excrement if I don't have to mow...yes, I hate mowing that much. (Again, I'm glad to have a lawn to mow. I just wish others could enjoy mowing my incredibly huge lawn (1.34 acres) as much as I do.) I'll have to ask the farmer if he can have the cows crap on my neighbor's lawn like she (after six years of being nice about it) still allows her dogs to crap all over my lawn. I'd just love to see her face when she sees a giant cow pie and looks at her tiny rat-like dogs. (I want a real dog of my own...a Golden, German Shepard...I don't care what kind really because I love all animals (dogs, cats, whatever)...just weigh more than a pound.) I keep telling Lorrie that I'm gong to put the dog crap on her grill; that should get the message across in a really good passive/agressive manner, eh?

Way to go Thor, you'll be the cause of my sleep depravation tonight so I hope you win the green jersey and make it worth it buddy! Come to think of it, I like all the guys in the green jersey competition...but my Norge wife wants you to win so I'll root hardest for you. I feel more four hour sleep nights ahead. The Kiluea Coffee is ready...after all, it is Tour season!

Mange takk, lykke til hel ferd!


  1. Bob,
    THOR did great today!
    Ok, word to the wise, my is TIME TO PAY the neighborhood kids $25 bucks to mow the grass. It is WELL WORTH THE $$$$$$$$$$$ ! ! ! ! !! ! ! ! :)

  2. I wish the neighborhood kids would do it for $25...hell, $100. The BEST offer one of the local teens gave me...$150/time. He knows that most of the yards around here are paying $175 to 200- twice a week. I've asked my cousin (just got her drivers license) if she would mow in the summer. I am offering her $50/time. She may do it.